Remember in Starfox and Lylat Wars how they spoke in this weird language that you could sort of understand, but it was still complete nonsense? Well that I could deal with. But when I see a poorly rendered freak of nature start to talk complete gibberish. Add to this the bizarrely up-tempo in game music that accompanies the dancing and it all becomes a little too much to bear. It must be played to be believed. Even following these precautions, the likelihood of you finding any enjoyment in this festering turd of a title is slim.
You start of by making an avatar and picking a partner. The less said about this phase the better. You then engage in training where you practice the moves for the show. You essentially complete the dance by wiggling your wiimote. In order to do a spin, I follow the prompts and spin my remote in a circle. So you do this a few times in training and then you repeat the whole thing once more for the show. And then you repeat the whole process next week, and the week after, and the week after.
The only thing breaking this up is the voting segments where you can spam call ins for your number to boost your votes. This particular part I just found to be plain insulting. In terms of lifespan, lets just say that so far the game has spent longer in its case than inside my Wii.
You can up the difficulty or use a second remote to increase the challenge, but the unresponsive nature of the controls already make the affair trying enough. The only thing that will likely stay with you for more than about twenty seconds is the sheer horror that this game instills.
A multiplayer mode is included, but if you have the malice in your heart to subject an acquaintance to this monstrosity then there is something seriously wrong with you. That said I look more favourably upon the party aspect of the game now, having used the disc as a very effective frisbee a short while ago.
Calling the game Dancing on Thin Ice might have been more appropriate. Forget the budget price. The only way to make this game value for money, would be if they paid you to take it off their hands. This is a blight on, not just the games industry, but on life itself. I really started to feel my little muscles ache if I played for more than an hour.
Bigger movements seem to register better, so I spent a lot of time gesturing somewhat extravagantly, trying to get a higher score. This provided great amusement for next door's builders when they spotted me leaping around my living-room, thrusting my arms into the air and pointing at nothing. For all the stupidity though I enjoyed it. It brought back memories of playing on the PS2's EyeToy. I absolutely adored the games that involved waving your arms around to hit certain on-screen areas.
As the Dancing on Ice routines became more complicated I felt as if I'd been sucked back in time to experience the craziness of the EyeToy in some alternative universe. Surprisingly, you really have to concentrate if you want the judges to give you good marks. I know I'm a competitive person, but Dancing on Ice really brought that out of me.
In training I found myself putting a lot of effort into learning all the moves the best I could in the time. Some were pretty easy, but as the game progressed you had to perform everything faster, and more difficult routines with less breaks were introduced. In fact, if you used two remotes to play both skaters at once you'd have to be super-coordinated for this you would end up looking like some half-crazed, ice-dancing ninja with your arms flying about all over the place.
Maybe I should try that sometime, it could really add to my workouts. I'm sitting on my living-room floor hoping my imaginary skating routine with my imaginary partner impressed the virtual judges.
Dancing on Ice is well pitched. The gradual build-up gave me a real sense of achievement each time I survived the voting. I know they would never actually get rid of me, but still. I surprised myself by really wanting the judges to like me the closer it got to the final performances. I mean, seriously, I'm sitting on my living-room floor hoping my imaginary skating routine with my imaginary partner impressed the virtual judges.
Get a grip, girl. This, although a little worrying, is a good sign to me. If I can get this involved in a game, especially one I didn't know if I would enjoy at all, then it can't be bad. Either that or I've just lost the plot. With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub.
Sorry about that. But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it.
0コメント